major difference between current and past US government shutdowns?

people keep mentioning past US government shutdowns as though they are proof  of a shutdown not being a major problem but more of a hiccup ... 
however... this is the first US government shutdown post 9/11... post 2 major simultaneous wars... post katrina and all other devastatingly large climate changes since... which by the way,on a very grand scale,we have not recovered from ... the first US government shutdown during a severe economic crisis... also... the first US government shutdown during an active government sequestration ...and now we are days away from what could be the very first ever UNITED STATES OF AMERICA *FEDERAL DEFAULT*

                                                                                           ...need i go on?

old health problem causing new symptoms

due to my recent lower rate of tweeting several people have shown concern for my health . i felt it easier and more effective to explain this here...

about 10 years ago i had several symptoms which mimicked possible heart attack, 1 symptom was low oxygen levels to my heart,this led  DRs to believe i had blockages in my heart... a heart angiogram was performed. they were shocked to find absolutely no blockages in my heart. upon further testing performed by other specialty DRs i was finally diagnosed with severe GERD, which i have been treated for daily since diagnoses. medications have been different throughout the years due to lack of insurance at times, worsening or improving symptoms and so on.

within the last 3 years my insurance had approved the original brand name medication,which works the best for me, however due to changes in coverage or whatever,coverage of brand name was discontinued and i was placed on an over the counter med which caused almost immediate problems with uncontrolled acid... i was then placed on a generic of the original brand name med,this helped with the acid however there were more foods i was unable to eat to keep the acid under control.

recently however i started having shortness of breath which was not caused by allergies or asthma,as those meds had no effect on my symptom. then i noticed an ache in my chest as though i had been coughing extremely hard. i've experienced bronchitis many times in my life and though i had no bronchitis, or other cough, i realized my breastbone or sternum was hurting in the morning. then probably a month or so ago i noticed a strange sensation in and around my sternum,besides the ache, with this my breathing became more difficult... all of it was worsening,with standing,walking,sleeping and now with eating. 

because of my moyamoya i need to be as diligent as possible with keeping my systolic blood pressure (top number) within certain parameters... i also know it is not safe to have the top number and the bottom number (diastolic) too close together and noticed most often my diastolic pressure would rise during these episodes even while systolic pressure remained within suggested parameters.

this is when i remembered the episodes 10 years ago,they were slightly similar in one sensation i was feeling in my chest. i was finally able to see my regular DR plus my nurse practitioner was at the appointment also. i told them everything happening now and what had happened 10 years ago tho they agreed it sounded intestinal an EKG was done to check my heart,it was normal. they agreed to increase my GERD medication to 3 pills a day from 2. 

i started the increase upon returning home,as i continued with the higher dose all symptoms were improving... i assumed (as was typical) that once i finished this prescription early that upon reorder i would receive the new increased prescription... however, i was not notified of my insurance company denial for the increase until i received a letter delivered by the pharmacy,which accompanied other medication refills days after i had submitted the refills... the letter simply stated i reordered the med too soon,that was july 3rd... due to the july 4th holiday i was unable to contact anyone till july 8 by which time i was completely without GERD medication.

so it was on the 8th that i finally found out about the denial to increase at which time we agreed to appeal for the increase and i have since have gotten a refill of the lower dosage... 

so now all symptoms have returned and if they deny the approval to increase a generic medication by 1 pill a day,they may end up paying much more for the possible hospital costs as the lower level of my pulse oximetry readings (blood oxygen saturation readings ) messes with my MOYAMOYA which has already been slowly shutting down the oxygen supply to my brain...
                          
THIS IS ONE ON THE MANY REASONS WHY INSURANCE COMPANIES SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO OVERRIDE AND DISMISS A DOCTORS DECISION ON A WHIM WITHOUT ANY INVESTIGATION OF AN BOTH THE INDIVIDUALS IMMEDIATE AND LONG TERM HEALTH BENEFITS !!!!  ... IN MY OPINION A MEDICATION DOSAGE THAT BENEFITS IMMEDIATE QUALITY OF LIFE OVER THE POSSIBLE LATER LOSS OF QUALITY OF LIFE IN A NONE LIFE THREATENING MANNER SHOULD BE ALLOWED FIRST AND FOR MOST!!

MAN,i hope that made sense cuz i can't do that all over again,simultaneous lol & not lol

spinning plates...

my last post consisted of the following words...

E-motion sickness of chronic illness

a theme park closes

desolate

forgotten

a roller coaster continues

repetitiously

monotonously

rescue eludes me

with worry

i wait

he sits beside me

his love enwraps me

i am reminded i believe

as my journey continues

i still believe

tho more often 

i forget

    ...to a reader these words may have seemed a gibberish scribble and maybe they are... i will be the first to admit i am not a writer by any studied standard... i merely translate my thoughts to paper or page... they come to you from a place inside me i myself have no understanding of... at times it fascinates me, other times it comforts me and yet sometimes it frustrates me, toys with me ...it's too much too fast,it's too little too slow, it time travels to it's liking... to any moment of my memory or to dreams left unfulfilled... thoughts,emotions and words playing cat and mouse... where i am always the mouse... i must find them and place them on the page, anchor them before they get bored with their own game and escape my mind as invisible words on seemingly blank pages. for when anchored they start to flow thru me with such ease surely they must come from somewhere else, for how could i possibly know,think or feel all of these things...

so now to you i say... as i looked around twitter, reading so many others 

frustrations, anger, loneliness, loss, hopelessness and worry with their own long term chronic illness (or other life situation really) i could not simply sit by and do nothing. i closed my eyes and searched for words to paint these emotions into the best picture i could at the time. tho it's far from perfect i hoped i could convey an image of understanding that could give even just one person a sign saying you are not alone in this, you have the right to feel every emotion implanted into you by your illness and by those who do not understand. i wanted them to know their words were being heard, understood, validated and shared without judgement, without question...

when we are ready

we all have a right 

to enter the deepest darkest depths of ourselves 

to find all of our grief 

all of our sorrow 

all of our emotional pain

to bring it out into the open

look it in the eye

analyze it 

hate it

beat it to dust

or whatever else it takes us to know it

to understand it 

and to accept it for what it is

for until we accept it as part of us 

and not as all of us 

until we define it 

instead of letting it define us 

until we work through it

rather than go around it

we will will forever be on a 24 hour a day 7 day a week E-motion sickness roller coaster ride leaving us desolate forgotten constantly  repetitiously monotonously crying filled with worry waiting never doing 

never knowing he sits beside us,we will not believe 

for as our journey continues we will forget all but our own suffering

but we all have a choice 

it's not easy 

it takes time 

it takes hard work 

but we all have a choice  

learn to ask for help when you need it

choose the right help 

learn to talk yourself down off of the roller coaster 

remember to breathe when fear holds your breath

float if you feel you are drowning

bring yourself back one piece at a time,timing and balance are key...

whether we are talking illness, relationship, food, everything...

...remember the guys spinning the plates on the poles, the more plates you are spinning the easier it is to lose balance... a plate falls,it brakes

with illness you have to learn when to lay your plates down

i don't mean giving up, i'm talking about knowing your limits

laying your plates down so when you are ready 

you can spin them again or you can choose to set the table with them

 

E-motion sickness of chronic illness

a theme park closes
desolate
forgotten

a roller coaster continues
repetitiously
monotonously

rescue eludes me
with worry 
i wait 

he sits beside me
his love enwraps me
i am reminded i believe

as my journey continues
i still believe
tho more often
i forget

moyamoya brain surgery ???

as some of you know, my battle with moyamoya disease has been a long and arduous journey of at least 20 years. in 1992 i originally started at a gym with step aerobics classes,however after a couple of months (?) my blood pressure started to rise near the end of the class, i had also started having memory problems. it was suggested by my doctor,at the time, to try working with light weights for toning rather than the aerobic workout. things were fine for a few months. however, one morning i started my workout on the pec deck with 3 sets of 15 repetitions, with very minimal weight as i had found using the pec deck my biggest challenge somehow. now, i had a history of migraine headaches which had started at age 19,i believe without this history of severe head pain i would have fallen to my knees at that point of standing from the pec deck... for as i stood, it literally felt as though someone had hit me in the head with a sledge hammer with the force usually reserved for the strong man ringing of the bell at a carnival.
i could not speak,i could barely think or function as the pain was so overwhelming. i managed to walk along the wall to the other end of the hallway,maybe 25 feet,as no one else was there and i felt safe to sit,my body slid down the wall and i sat... holding my head, tears started to flow but still i could not speak. i have no idea now how long i sat there, if i had my son,age 2 or possibly had just turned 3 at the time, at the gym with me. whether i drove home and called the DR or if i drove to the doctors office or whether my husband,at the time, picked us or me up at the gym and drove me to the DR. i do remember the DR thinking it was a migraine and my insisting it was not. he insisted that as my migraines had changed several times over the years that this was simply once again a change in the routine of my migraines. though i was still in pain,less pain than the onset but yet pain equal to a strong migraine without the typical side affects of my migraines and i believe taking my usual migraine medication, i could think of no better way to find the truth than to go back to the pec deck at the gym the next morning.
so i did just that, i returned to the pec deck the following morning. as i attempted what was to be the first of 15 repetitions, almost immediately the pain started to intensify in exactly the same place as the day before. i drove straight to the DRs office, he saw me almost immediately... i explained what i had done and what followed... he then agreed with me that this was possibly something other than a migraine and sent me straight to the emergency room with his written instructions for an MRA of the brain,an mra is an mri with the injection of a dye for the purpose of following the path of the dye. he instructed me as i left to insist they follow his instruction in using the dye as it was medically necessary. however, the radiologist felt it was NOT necessary and did a regular MRI instead... the test was inconclusive, i then had to return the next day for the MRA with the instructed use of the dye.
the MRA revealed a small brain bleed had occurred from a small blood vessel in the outer layer of my brain, i believe it was near the brain stem. i was told it also revealed there was no tearing of the blood vessel involved but that it had caused a seepage of blood, the same type of seepage that causes you to form a bruise under the skin, but that my pain was severe because the blood had seeped into my brain fluid surrounding my brain which is meant to protect the brain and also allow it to move freely as we move about... the seepage of blood into my brain fluid was keeping my brain from moving freely and that it could not be removed by surgery and so i would have to give it time to clear out on it's own, which could take some time but but they could not predict how long. i was restricted  for the duration of the necessary time from lifting more than 5 pounds, from bending forward and anything else that would cause increases pressure or unnecessary movement of head and brain.
it took approximately 7 months of not lifting my son,sitting on the floor to carefully play with him or even sort laundry,sneezing was a horrific and God forbid, throwing up was 5 times worse,i believe there were out patient hospital visits for test after test,MRA and MRI after MRA and MRI, blood test after blood test... all in search of strokes and brain tumors, testing for heavy metal poisoning, hormone levels, brain tumors,lupus and anything else they could think of. during this time my marriage had deeply deteriorated and i had been informed in november of 1993 that my brother Mark was living with full blown AIDS ( Mark had found out he had HIV after having his spleen removed while i was pregnant. he did not tell us about the HIV as he did not want to take attention away from my pregnancy...  i had a difficult time getting pregnant and difficulties during my pregnancy and he feared the stress may have caused me to loose my baby).
while my ex-husband and i where dating and during our engagement my father had, i believe his third heart attack followed by open heart surgery,which quite by accident lead to the discovery that my mother had breast cancer and a partial mastectomy. i lost my mother to liver cancer july 29,1987 just 5 and a half months after getting married i believe it was within 4 months of her death, that his father had an aneurysm of the aorta with successful surgical repair. i'm unable to remember for certain,though i believe it may have been during the winter holidays of 1989 or 1990 his father suffered a severe stroke which left him in a nursing home unable to communicate, and at some point my father started having mild strokes. my ex-husbands father passed away on our sons 1st birthday in 1991. then just as it seemed i was finally recovering from my brain bleed,we are informed of my brother having AIDS... 1 long term illness or one death in a family puts a strain on a marriage,we were enduring multiple overlapping illnesses and deaths, along with,at that time a
private issue,affecting our  marriage.

then,i believe january 1994 almost a year after the brain bleed... i awoke in the middle 
of the night... i felt very odd, not like myself,i had numbness of my right leg,arm and side of my 
face... back to the hospital, more tests, more DRs, all standing around my bed with their 
clipboards... all asking me questions,asking each other questions as they all flipped back and 
forth through my records tossing ideas and opinions back and forth like a game random ping pong
 being played by 8 or so DRs over my bed. ...i was asked once more to describe the events of that night before, 
suddenly i heard 2 words jump out for the first time... LYME DISEASE !! they all scurried through 
their reports, checking to see if there had been any mention of it or any test for it,it was no where
to be found. the blood test was ordered and found to be positive. FINALLY, they had found an 
answer which made sense to them all.
i was immediately started on a 3 week course of oral antibiotics. still positive,another 3 week 
course of oral antibiotics,still tested positive,followed by what turned out to be the 3rd and 
final 3 week course of treatment for LYME DISEASE !! 
i will not share with you my ex-husbands response to my diagnosis of lyme disease. i will 
tell you that it was during my treatment that i first brought up the subject of separation. 
after my diagnoses and treatment of lyme disease i was informed that it was possibly the cause 
of my brain bleed, though they could not be sure as we did not know when i had been infected.
i was told that after having had lyme disease i was not allowed to donate blood or organs, that
they believed the brain bleed was a 1 time vascular event,however i should not have another
child because they felt a pregnancy could 'possibly' cause it to happen again and that i 
would likely miscarry or if i did carry to full term it could 'possibly' put both the baby and i at
risk of death during delivery. it was necessary to have a lyme test i believe every 3 months at
first,then every 6,then every year.( i have not tested positive for lyme disease following the 3
three week treatments in early 1994). i was also to have an MRI done periodically to keep an
eye on my blood vessels in my brain, i was told i would have hypertension the rest of my life and 
also diagnosed with fibromyalgia + most likely would be in a wheelchair within ten years. 

for the next 14 years i was in and out of emergency rooms,DRs offices and neurology 
departments,had numerous MRIs,my blood pressure became uncontrollable in 2001 
periodically spiking higher and higher including several years when it would suddenly spike up
as high as 230 systolic, each time unable to get ANY medical records from the
1990s including MRIs,MRAs or any written reports from that time and each time getting no 
answers for my tremors,uncontrolled muscle movements etc.
in 2005 i was finally told by one neurologist i had previously suffered a stroke in my left pons,
still all was blamed on everything from~ getting myself all worked up,to menopause, to caffeine
(even when i was drinking non) and of course always testing me for street drugs and being
shocked to find none, to repeated testing for lupus,heavy metal poisoning,to addison's,
parkinson's,MS etc.

so,3 years ago,2010 i finally received a copy of a report from 1996 comparing an MRI done then to an MR done in 1994-the year i was diagnosed+treated for lyme disease+told my brain bleed was a 1 time vascular
event- *yes i have mentioned this part here on my blog and other online sites over the last couple of years*-
the report ...( *perfectly describes moyamoya disease,but i was never told any of the findings from that report because they once again diagnosed it ALL  as a 1 time vascular event* ) ...was found about 2 weeks before my appointment to schedule brain surgery for MOYAMOYA disease (which had finally been properly diagnosed in 2008) and it was that report along with scans done
between that diagnosis and the appointment to schedule my surgery that brought us to the understanding
that surgery was out of the question and the agreement it would only be done as as last chance effort to
save my life, if there was still a possibility of quality of life.
       ...well, due to symptoms i'd been having i was brought in for new CT angio scans of my brain in august
or sept. not sure,the preliminary answers i received that day were that still 20 years after that brain bleed, for
which we still had no records for-to see if any of the signs were there at that time- there is still no sign of moyamoya on the left side of my brain... which was his main concern at the time.
       
    ...so yesterday i went for my yearly exam and the follow up appointment to those new scans...
*today i called my nurse practitioner who was w/me yesterday,to be sure we both heard the same thing*
he had asked if i have had any TIAs (***  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transient_ischemic_attack ***)
since those scans i said yes 2 but i don't remember exactly when. then showed us parts of the scan and
zoomed in on the tiny tangled moyamoya blood vessels and vessels with blockages they have grown from
the new scans show improved blood flow in the area near the moyamoya blood vessels...
so from what i understand:
     probably due to the medications he has had me on since my diagnosis in dec 2008, the TIA's i have experienced in 2012 and now in 2013 were caused by clots that have broken away from the blockages of the blood vessels from which the moyamoya vessels have grown... we are to contact him if i have any more what he called HARD TIAs that affect my left side such as use of my left arm or left leg as in loss of movement,severe numbness for a period of i think 15 to 20 minutes and then goes away or other signs of stroke are that go away such as loss of speech, vision changes beyond my normal migraine or moyamoya vision.
     depending on the symptoms if i have more TIAs he will decide if new scans are warranted and then if the brain bypass surgery can be done... as it should have been years ago,instead of a risky last ditch effort to save me during a stroke. of course the normal risks of this type of surgery would still be there.
               ***there may possibly be a chance for me yet***
and i will know exactly who to thank if i get this chance and in which order... ;)

due to government cut backs...

**as you will see,this post was disrupted during a computer update,crossing my fingers this was the only one! i salvaged what i could because of what i believe to the irony of the next post after this and after my neurology appointment (though the new information,if it leads to what we are now hoping, could still be affected by government cut backs).**

i know i haven't been online socially for a bit now. i did post a tweet that i would be resting. what i didn't say was, maybe because i didn't realize it at the time, that my brain needed a rest from things like the government taking away or threatening to take away things like rare diseases research, medicare,disability and more, from those of us who need it most. along with the thought of so many people seeing this as the right thing to do.
just when we have started learning so much through stem cell research and genetic testing, i fear, during my up coming appointment with my stroke intervention/moyamoya neurology specialist, i may be told i will not be allowed to come back *not to mention the fact i signed legal papers to donate my body for research of moyamoya and other vascular diseases and what happens if i die before they get their heads out of their a$$e$* because of government cut backs, ...no matter if it is through sequester cuts to teaching hospitals and payment to DRs accepting medicare or obama care cuts to medicare coverage... either one could mean losing the most important doctor in charge of my care for a rare disease, which is actually one cause of one of the leading causes of death or disability in this country and many countries around the world, STROKE, and one that is responsible for many of the strokes endured by infants,children and young adults. i do not understand why the cause of a persons strokes is less important than the strokes themselves. i do not understand why a persons age is considered a factor in whether or not they receive benefits for treatment of something progressively debilitating and disabling, not to mention deadly, for which there is no cure.

i do not understand how the deprivation of medical research and treatment of any disease, rare or otherwise, by ones own government, or any government program, state or federal, is not seen as unconstitutional or at the very least medical discrimination.

i do not understand why i am repeatedly asked,*during home visits, for review of my disability program qualifications or as part of my care team (of which i am supposedly a part of) by people who have little or no knowledge of moyamoya disease*, things like 'why is it so dark in here' to which i reply 'because bright light and shadows make me dizzy and disrupt my brain recognition and vision', or 'why is it so cold in here' to which i reply 'because i get over heated easily,causing me to feel faint and fatigued', or 'how are you sleeping' to which i reply 'i've been sleeping a lot cuz i'm not feeling well,or,i've been in a pattern of sleeping 4 hours awake for 4 hours,sleep 4 awake 4... or,i've been having insomnia or lost time eoisodes... all of which i believe to be part of moyamoya, the part they call altered states of consciousness or 'how often are you eating','how has your mood been'. ...'i think you should take a blood pressure pill','you haven't had any emergency room visits in quite some time now' << these last 2 get the same response 'because i live here with as much independence as possible i'm able to follow DR, Zaidats instructions on how to take my blood pressure and my blood pressure medication, and because of that i do not need to go to the emergency room every time my blood pressure goes to high, nor does it go to low as often,which is just as dangerous to me as that can cause a low flow stroke', to which one nurse repeatedly tells me 'this is not the way this blood pressure medication is normally prescribed', to which i repeatedly reply, 'i'm not a normal blood pressure patient, i am a moyamoya patient with high blood pressure which means i have different blood pressure parameters of 130 to 150 systolic',*even after he told her himself ,a year ago in his office, that i'm doing it right, i still had to explain it to her again this past friday*.'have you had any falls','do you own your hospital bed,because you don't fit our criteria for needing one' (WTF?),or a pharmacist asking me over the phone 'why are you taking so many prescriptions for cholesterol when your cholesterol is better than mine and i'm younger and physically fit' to which i replied 'do you have moyamoya disease or a history of stroke?' i believe he replied humbly 'uuhh,no.' then filled my order and shipped it to me.


LMAO,WOW!!...i guess THIS.... >>> ... *data-blogger-escaped-..="" data-blogger-escaped adventure="" data-blogger-escaped-all="" data-blogger-escaped-am="" data-blogger-escaped-and="" data-blogger-escaped-anyone="" data-blogger-escaped-anything="" data-blogger-escaped-are="" data-blogger-escaped-as="" data-blogger-escaped-be="" data-blogger-escaped-but=""*...  <<< ... is what happens when you upgrade back to windows7 from vista and data gets transferred BEFORE 238 problems can't be fixed till after upgrade!
            ... i decided not to delete it all because it reminds me of  the movie 'THE SHINING'!!!! CLASSIC!!!!! LMAO!!!
                                               **no clue what is missing here**

'what are your goals' ok,this is a touchy one for me... i mean seriously, what are my goals? here THEY are viewing ME as a normal stroke survivor they are expecting to talk about having recovery goals they hope to meet. not viewing ME as an individual person who has had this progressive brain disease for at least 20 years and is unable to have brain bypass surgery because i was misdiagnosed for 14 years! taking a dozen or more prescriptions, most of them more than once a day to live, and there THEY sit insisting I need to set a goal. 'it's mandatory for everyone on the program to set goals every 6 months' they tell me... so for the last 2 years my goals have been raising awareness of moyamoya disease, to, raising awareness of moyamoya disease to a larger audience through twitter,to, continuing to raise awareness of moyamoya disease through twitter and to reach an even larger audience through face book and now my blog,to, continuing to raise awareness of moyamoya disease and the other 7,000 rare diseases through twitter,face book,my blog and volunteering for clinical testing of moyamoya disease,plus legally donating my body then for further research of moyamoya and other vascular diseases'...
                     due to government cuts... have all my efforts been in vain...

a day older than i thought i was...

yes, that's right, i've suddenly realized i am a day older than i thought i was...
how is that possible? you ask...
well, thanks to my friend MOYAMOYA disease and it's numerous friends it has brought with it,which go by such names as TIA, STROKE, INTELLECTUAL DISABILITIES, BRAIN DAMAGE, BLOCKAGES and possibly 1 named ANEURYSM and i forget the rest...

along with the fact that MOYAMOYA and more and more of her  friends have declared squatters rights in my right brain over the last 20 years ... which was the cause of a cranial civil war for 14 years (( during which time 1 STROKE a few minor BLOCKAGES and the possible  young ANEURYSM have defected from their leader to the LEFT BRAIN))  as that is how long it took for these medical ninja's and all their destruction to finally and officially be identified.

now where was i? ah yes, i was explaining today! 
      i woke up sunday morning ( hold this thought for later ) to a howling chill making it's way through the house ( which is really a tiny studio apartment attached to a house, but,to me it is like a tiny little home of my own ) when curiosity took me to the MSN page to check the weather report. a wind advisory explained this howling chill.
      on my way to the weather section i had glanced at headlines of the coming resignation of the pope and of grammy award pictures,which lead me to think for a moment~ oh,i guess the grammys are on tonight. however,after the weather report and upon closer attention to the next grammy photo caption i noticed And the 2013 winners were ... !
      for a moment i thought, that's odd,i thought the grammys were always on sunday night... it still took a moment before the click... then suddenly, with the same controlled 'nobody move' moment of panic i have witnessed many times when someone loses a contact lens, i cautiously placed my cursor in the far lower right corner of my screen, where you find the time of day... and there it was... in black and white... Monday,February 11, 2013... thus making ME, the food in my fridge and well yes, the entire world, 1 day older than i had thought upon waking to the howling chill, which seems more fitting of the day that now feels like an episode of  " THE TWILIGHT ZONE " ~ cue music  THE TWILIGHT ZONE THEME - YouTube

and the meek shall inherit the earth...

       seems the world is turning backwards,the oceans are flowing inland, 
droughts are lasting longer,growing larger only to be followed by floods that wash away anything and anyone left in their path. earthquakes in unusual places. tsunamis, tornado outbreaks, hurricanes all bringing more mass destruction, with death tolls as we ourselves have never seen before,
the climate is changing we must adapt.
       war, genocide, greed, hate, fear and petty bickering bring more destruction and devastation devouring more time, energy, money and lives. all while it could be put to better use saving lives! no one is winning here,everyone is losing! violence begets violence, hate begets hate. has history taught us nothing? with all our planning for the future we forget the past and ignore today...
       but NOW is the time for a meeting of the minds that what we have been doing is not working. before it is too late we must live and let live, learn to work together to make what SEEMS impossible,possible!
         we must lay our weapons down, set aside our differences ...we must pick up our tools and clean up,rebuilding and replenish what has been lost.i'm not talking bigger's better or who has the most wins. ...i'm talking,saving the most lives,while creating the best quality of living for everyone everywhere!! not with the most expensive,not with the most elaborate...but,the most humble...most basic necessities for all first and foremost.
           we must have equality,honesty and acceptance in health care,nutrition, housing, education and medical research for all. we must have acceptance,respect and equality of race, age, gender,disability,religion, sexual orientation, same sex marriage and so much more!!!!! 
ALSO:what good comes from spending money to find more planets, as we self destruct?

at a time when i couldn't say it again... i found someone to help me say it ...

THE GLOBAL GENES PROJECT...
... i have 1 of over 7,000 rare disease...
I and the others are now global!! THANK YOU!!!
1 in 10 Americans... 350 MILLION GLOBALLY!!!

THIS NO LONGER SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE!
http://globalgenes.org/ 
http://globalgenes.org/blog/
http://globalgenes.org/blue-denim-genes-ribbon/ ...and more...